The Troubleshooter: February 9

Tuesday

February 9

Well, I guess it was bound to happen again. I mean, I knew it was inevitable, but I guess I never really thought it through. The job: security testing--which is a fancy way of saying, I break into a place to see if it can be done. And my client fucked up in about the dumbest way possible.

We met at a restaurant for the details. For a change, this was an in-person meeting, which I don't do much any more, but he had to know what I looked like so he didn't mistake me for a real burglar. So I take the job. His security was a piece of cake. A few cameras, some motion sensors, and a single remotely activated ceiling gun. His locks were electronic. Tough but not impossible to crack. I got in, and there he was, waiting for me, a gun in hand.

He asked what the fuck I was doing there. I reminded him that he'd paid me to break in. He denied it. I asked his identity, figuring that maybe this was a twin or something. Nope, this was my client. I asked if he remembered that he'd paid me half up front for the job. He said he has no idea what I'm talking about.

He smiled a little when he said that, and that's when I learned that some dumbass clients will try to fuck you out of the rest of the payment. He paid half upfront for the job. Always get half upfront. Todd's number two rule. (Number one is, don't get caught.)

I completed the job, he saw the flaws in his security, and then he had the bright idea to have his corporation arrest me for breaking and entering, thus getting a 50% discount. It might have worked if he'd hired a common burglar to do the job.

I didn't forget to wipe down my fingerprints and delete all the security feeds when I left. Eight Bit has already scrambled my DNA data in all the databases. I'm not too worried about getting caught, though. The guy was pretty low on the corporate totem pole. I doubt they'll spend too many resources looking for me.

I've always heard they second one is easier than the first one. They were right.