The Troubleshooter

July 6

Isn't it weird how we still celebrate Fourth of July? I mean, we haven't had a government for decades now, but we still celebrate our freedom. I guess old habits die hard. Or maybe everyone just wants an excuse to grill steaks and drink beer.

I was going to tell you about May 26, but instead I'll talk about the last week. Talk about crazy! I had this job. It was supposed to be pretty simple: break into this guy's house and trash the place. Pissed off girlfriend or something, I guess. I didn't ask her what her relationship to the guy was. So I cased the house--OK, fucking mansion is more like it--you know, to get some idea of the security. Wasn't anything major. No dogs, just a few cameras, a laser fence. The laser fence is a bit tricky, of course. Worse than electric, since it'll slice you in two.

Anyway, I figured out how I was going to get in and out (and no, I won't tell you; a girl's gotta have her trade secrets), so I made plans for the next night. Night comes, everything's going great, I'm past the fence, avoiding the cameras, when I accidentally kicked a rock. And holy fuck! It landed on a goddamn landmine! The sonofabitch must've known I was going in, because they sure as hell weren't there the day before.

Of course, skirting landmines wasn't part of the deal, and I'd made enough noise to wake the dead when the damn thing went off, so I got the hell out of there. I thought about refusing to return the money to the bitch, but I can't afford the hit to my reputation. She was pissed, as you can imagine, but I told her she'd have to double my pay before I'd consider it.

posted by The Troubleshooter @ 10:31 PM