Aim For The Heart

MMO developers: a question

2010-02-17T14:13:00.003-06:00

Why do you allow your forum users to tell your other paying customers, "If you don't like it, go play GameX instead," whenever another player complains about a feature (whether the complaint is justified or not)? Do you really think Blizzard needs that $15/month more than you do? Is it your intent to allow your more rude players to send paying customers onto other MMOs, until all that's left are fanboys who lick your boots and tell you how great you are? Because I promise you, it's hard to make rent and pay server fees with only a few hundred players paying you $15/month.

The rudest gaming forums I consistently come across are those for MMOs, and the more niche the game, the more rude the forum users. Suggestions that might make the game less confusing are met with diatribes about lazy gamers wanting an "I win" button. Comparing the MMO with another are met with sneers and the aforementioned demand the customer take their money elsewhere. Complaints about bugs are met with, "Quit QQing. It's not affecting gameplay."

Here's a shocking revelation: MMOs require customers. They require a minimum number of customers at that, assuming you want to pay your programmers and content designers and network administrators, not to mention making your rent and electricity.

Stop allowing the bullies to dominate your boards. Insist on a certain measure of respect among your players. Not every player is going to /ragequit when they get fed up. Sometimes, they'll simply unsubscribe.

Where D&D Online falters

2010-02-05T10:24:00.000-06:00

Out of all the MMOs I've subscribed to, DDO is the one subscription I let lapse the quickest (2 months). I started wondering why that is. It's not because the game isn't D&D enough. It's probably the closest an MMO could actually come and still be fun. It's because the game lacks time and money sinks. By skipping those, the dearth of quest content becomes even more apparent. Every new character is going to do every single quest as every other character.

Most MMOs aren't like that. Take, for example, Lord of the Rings Online. It's impossible for a new character to do all the quests without some of them turning gray (meaning the quest gives only the bare minimum of XPs and the mobs probably don't give any). There are simply too many quests for any one character to do. Add in things like crafting, deeds (which are rewards you get for accomplishing certain activities (like killing 200 orcs in a certain area)), PvP, and non-instantaneous travel, and you have ways to waste time that don't including questing to the very end of the game.

It may sound like a bad thing from a player's perspective, but it's really not. It fleshes it out, gives you something else to do when you don't want to do quests, and provides you with enough content you're more likely to roll up alts. And most importantly for the developers, keeps you paying $15/month.

It also lacks enough money sinks. It's absolutely vital to pull money away from characters in order to control the in-game economy. Without sufficient sinks, inflation spirals out of control. DDO gives way too many magic items and doesn't provide enough stuff to waste your money on. For example, LOTRO has housing, purchasable mounts, PvP, and travel. The post-apocalyptic game we're playing now, Fallen Earth, has blackjack and slots, and I think I read they're going to work in more item decay. You also have to provide feed for your mount or gas for your vehicle. In EVE Online, ship destruction is real and permanent. You have to pay monthly rent for hangar access, and almost everything in the game is crafted, so you spend money all the time buying mats for creating everything you use.

DDO doesn't have anything except repair bills. They have a crafting system, but it's extremely rudimentary. You can't pay to unlock new bank inventory. You don't have to pay for travel. There's no housing, no mounts. My warforged monk7 has over 150,000 gp and nothing to spend money on except more questing stuff.

I don't hate DDO. I spent the Turbine points I got as a subscriber to unlock both the warforged race and the monk class as a free-to-play player. I'm sure I'll go back to the game. But after trying out so many other MMOs, I'm starting to see what they need to do to really stand up to the other MMOs out there.

How to start an exercise routine and keep it going

2010-02-01T09:11:00.001-06:00

First, I'm not a personal trainer, kinesiologist, or expert in fitness in any way. I'm simply someone who hated exercise for many years and managed to get started exercising and keep it going.

A big mistake many people make when they decide to workout is that they're so eager to see results they begin their routine all gung ho. They hit the gym like a maniac, doing long cardio sessions, more weights than they really should. Of course, their body lets them know how it feels about that, and they can barely move for a week. But a couple weeks pass and hey, it's not so bad. It feels like you're getting better. Your muscles are all nice and hard. You can see some definition.

And then something happens around the four week mark, give or take. It suddenly gets really hard. You feel like you can't do anything like they were doing at first. It's demotivating, unless you realize what's happening. Your muscles are suddenly all, "Hey, this is for real! This guy means it. Damn, I guess I better stop playing around and do something." That's when the real muscle building takes place. It really will get easier if you don't give up. But most people do, by this time. Exercise is taking time out of their schedule. It's hard. It's boring. They can think of a million things they'd rather be doing. So one missed day becomes two. Two becomes three. Next thing they know, they haven't been to the gym in a few weeks. And then they can't remember the last time they went.

Most exercise routines are created by fitness experts. The thing about fitness experts is, they like to exercise. That's why they got into the field. When they design starter routines, they're thinking like people who really enjoy working out. But what if you're like me, and you hated it? Couldn't stand getting sweaty. Couldn't stand muscle burn?

You get into the habit slowly.

Here's what worked for me, and it's what I recommend to people who hate exercise: fifteen minutes, five days a week. That's it. For fifteen minutes, five days a week, work out. Fifteen minutes is less than an episode of The Simpsons. This isn't going to give you the body of a runway model. It isn't going to prepare you for a marathon. Forget about looking like Dianna Agron or Mark Salling (Quinn and Puck from Glee). Bodies like that require both good genetics and very strict diet and exercise. (Seriously, it means taking your eating habits and your workout routine to a whole new level. Here's a CNN.com article on one man's journey to obtain six-pack abs).

Fifteen minutes is an amount of time everyone can fit into their schedule. It helps make exercise a habit, and right now, that's what you're going for.

Now, after a month, bump your time up to twenty. It's only another five minutes, and you've already carved out fifteen. A month later, bump that up to twenty-five. Another month, thirty. If you want to stop there, fine. Thirty minutes, five days a week is good, and look, you've been working out for four months now! The fitness experts will try to get you to one hour a day, but again, they like to work out. You're just trying not to give up.

One last thing: make yourself work out to your schedule no matter what, barring illness or injury. "I just don't feel like it," is no excuse. Neither is, "I don't have the time." Make the time. Cut out a TV show (or watch it while you exercise). Get up thirty minutes earlier, if you're an early morning person. (I'd rather cut off my toes than work out in the morning). But always, always fit that workout into your schedule, until it's so ingrained you can't imagine not doing it.

And now fourteen years later? I still don't really like working out, not the way you'd think. It still takes time from my schedule I'd rather spend doing other things (about four hours a week). But I love the results. I love that I can try harder, more intense things and not fail horrible, because of the endurance I've built up. I love when I occasionally hit a runner's high. It's as intoxicating as it sounds. I love knowing a six-block walk is nothing but a bit of time, or that I could run a 5K with little difficulty (notice I didn't say I could win a 5K; I'd be lucky not to come in last).

If you make exercise a part of your daily life, I guarantee it'll pay off in the long run.

Exercise, and its importance thereof

2010-01-19T11:45:00.002-06:00

Fourteen years ago I found myself with some free time at college when my husband had a Tue/Thur 8:00 a.m. class, and my first class didn't start until 9:45. Since we only had one car, we had to go to school at the same time. So I decided to use that time at the school gym.

For me, who hated getting sweaty with an unholy passion usually reserved for serial killers and demonic entities, this was HUGE. But I did it anyway. Twice a week I hit the gym and used the weight machines and bike. And by the end of the semester I was fitter and had slimmed down*.

I found I actually liked it, to an extent. So once I no longer found it convenient to hit the gym I decided exercising at home was the way to do it. We found a cheap, used treadmill, and I started walking. I heard the usual: you'll give up soon; it'll be a clothes hanger before long.

But I kept at it. It wasn't hard exercise, but it was consistent. And I wore that treadmill motor out. Took a little while, but I got another one.

Several years later, I bought an incline trainer. This is a short treadmill designed to help you with mountain hikes. The incline on mine is as high as 25%. They aren't designed for running, though if you have a short stride like I do, they can be. My endurance started to increase. A five-hour hike across the dunes of the Great Sand Dunes National Park became a tiring but very doable experience.

Working out isn't always fun. It takes time I'd rather spend doing other things, like playing computer games. But when I see people say they hate exercise I want to shake them. Exercise is fantastic! Those few hours a week will pay off when you're not exhausted just walking up a few flights of stairs, or when you think nothing of parking several blocks from your destination. Get out there and work up a sweat, people! It will pay off, I promise.

Next week I'll blog about how to start an exercise routine that you won't quit in a month.

*For the record, exercise alone will not help you lose weight if your eating isn't under control. I became overweight even as I exercised more and more. It took dieting to lose weight.

Just a coupla things

2010-01-04T12:50:00.007-06:00

PR Tip: Don't alienate your readership by insulting them

I read reviews of a couple of Wii exercise products this weekend that managed to make me dislike the reviewer so much any good points he might have been making were lost on me. Telling me how awesome your own exercise routine is and talking about how the majority of gamers are "fat, lazy slobs" is not the way to make me want to listen to anything you have to say.

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I watched two different movies this weekend: District 9 and District B13. (Despite the names, they have nothing in common). District 9 is the recently released SF alien flick filmed/set in South Africa. District B13 is a French film starring two stuntmen-turned-actors (including the father of parkour, David Belle) in a fun Hollywood-style action flick filled with some of the best parkour chases and fights I've ever seen in a movie. The story itself is good, with a small little twist at the end, but this is a definite check-your-brain-at-the-door movie. (It's available on Netflix streaming if you want to check it out). I would love to see stunt bloopers for the movie.

Indie CRPGs

2009-12-18T08:30:00.001-06:00

I was fortunate many years ago to be able to review the first Geneforge game. Since then, I've played most of the Geneforge sequels. Since then I discovered Eschalon: Book I. (Whether you would consider the original Divine Divinity an indie title is debatable, but perhaps it could be included, too).

So every now and then I go on a hunt for good indie CRPGs. Sadly, they're few and far between, at least those that have the elements I consider important. First off they have to be in, 3rd-person isometric (3D or not). I think because the graphics are weaker, 1st-person perspective looks much worse, especially when compared to top-tier commercial titles. The objects are larger on the screen, and their flaws are more readily apparent.

Second, they must have plenty of quests, lots of character stats, stuff to pick up and sell, and lots of choices. The "role" part of role-playing game must be in evidence. Action RPGs are all well and good, but those aren't the titles that make me salivate.

Right now, I have two games on my radar: Eschalon: Book II and Age of Decadence. Eschalon: Book II is almost certainly a Day 1 purchase for me. I enjoyed Book I a lot, and I trust the devs to put out a solid product. Age of Decadence comes from a studio I don't know, and while it looks fantastic, I'll have to give a demo a try or check reviews first. I'm hoping for a title that rivals Dragon Age in quality, even if the graphics and sound aren't up there with a Bioware title (no one would expect a title like AoD to compete with a studio that has millions of dollars to throw around and over a hundred voice actors).

With those two indie titles, Mass Effect 2 and Bioshock 2 coming out, and then possibly Red Dead Redemption in April (more on that one later), the first quarter of 2010 is going to be packed!

Drag Me To Hell

2009-12-17T08:17:00.002-06:00

This is NOT a spoiler-free review of the movie Drag Me To Hell, so you've been warned.

In this movie, Christine Brown is a loan officer at a bank who denies a third extension on her loan to an old gypsy woman. The woman begs for her help, but Christine refuses. That night in the parking garage, the old woman attacks her and then curses her. For three days, a llamia will torment her and then drag her to hell.

OK, first off, while it's sad the woman was going to lose her home, the bank is a business. A third extension is pushing things a bit. Christine suggested moving in with family or a nursing home, and the woman refused those ideas outright. While it's true that Christine's motive for refusing the extension was selfish (she was gunning for a promotion), I felt the catalyst for the horror was weak. Trying to run a profitable business is hardly an evil act.

Secondly, a psychic (the real deal, of course; they always are in these movies) tells her she can get rid of the curse by passing along the cursed object (a button from Christine's jacket). Mistake one was that the woman stole the button, and we never saw it given back to her. Seriously, Christine just suddenly had the button on her without the movie letting the viewer know that.

Anyway, the psychic tells her she can pass along the cursed object, so she gets the smart idea to dig up the old gypsy woman (who died the day after Christine met her) and give it to her. Seems like a good idea, right? That woman was genuinely evil after all, and if anyone deserved to be dragged to hell, it was her.

So Christine does that, and the next day dawns bright and sunny. She and her loving boyfriend are meeting at the train station to take a weekend vacation. While they're talking about how wonderful everything is, the boyfriend pulls out an envelope, telling her he thinks she gave him the wrong one. Surprise! She accidentally gave him the evil button.

She's shocked and horrified and backs away, falling onto the train tracks. Here's where the story messes with its own rules. She gets dragged to hell in front of her boyfriend's eyes. Why? Why did this happen? The rules clearly stated the person who was gifted the button would get taken. Why didn't she have to watch in horror as the man who loves her is the one taken?

I rated this movie a 2 stars on Netflix. Changing the rules of your world at the end of the story is a no-no. Making a heroine who doesn't actually deserve the torment fail at the end is also a bad idea. Part of the story was to show Christine become a stronger, more confident person. She learned to fight for herself. And then it was all taken away by the last scene.

Whatcha Readin' -- December edition

2009-12-15T08:07:00.002-06:00

I just finished Rhys Bowen's second book in the A Royal Spyness mystery series, A Royal Pain. It made me realize I like cozy mysteries only when they're set in historical periods. Normally I'd say I don't care much for cozy mysteries at all, but I love this and Kathryn Miller Haines's Rosie Winter series.

Bowen's books are set in England, 1930, when communism is on the rise in Europe and that upstart Hitler is getting some attention in political circles. The heroine, Georgie, is a British royal who's close enough to the throne to visit her grandmother the queen (Victoria) but far enough to never be at risk of ascending.

Kathryn Miller Haines's series stars a young stage actress trying to make a living in NYC in the middle of WWII. This series is so rich in detail and atmosphere you're instantly transported back to the time period the minute you open to the first page. The slang is amazing and the details are spot on.

I'm also reading The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan. It's interesting, if a bit slow to start off, and it reads exactly the way you can imagine a big budget movie director would write a book: lots of cuts between different scenes and POVs, lots of characters, some of whom live and die within the scene they're in, plenty of details. If there's one complaint I can make is that the writers are prone to excessive details about technology. Seriously, I don't really need to know the specs on that piece of forensics equipment your hero is using. I don't even need to know what piece of equipment he's picking up to perform that autopsy. Just tell me he's performing an autopsy and I'll be fine. Still, it's a book I look forward to reading.

Lastly, I started Jim C. Hines's The Stepsister Scheme, about Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty banding together to rescue Cinderella's husband. It has Hines's trademark humor, and it's a distinct twist on the fairy tale genre. It's worth noting that these aren't Disney princesses; these are the versions more closely recorded by the brothers Grimm.

That's it for now. I've been adding books like crazy to my Amazon wishlist, but I've made it a point not to buy any more. My current TBR pile is about to bury me.

Dragon Age: Origins

2009-12-01T08:32:00.002-06:00

Every now and then a game comes along that could never last long enough, no matter how many hours it gives you. I finished two games this week, Borderlands and Dragon Age: Origins. Borderlands was not that game. Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed it. I'll enjoy playing it again with my friends when they can get together, and the humor and style were fantastic.

But Dragon Age is an event. Dragon Age is an RPG that takes a step back and remembers that the roleplaying part of RPG actually matters. The game is entirely voiced, and the acting is fantastic. Conversations with your followers change depending on what choices you make. Conversations between your followers are worthy of stopping for just so you don't miss a single line of interaction. The codex is filled with world-building, and if you take the time to read it all, will show you a world full of history, intrigue, and politics.

It's a rare game that makes me want to turn around and start again as soon as I finish it. And considering I put in around 70 hours to reach the end, that's really saying something.

She's alive!

2009-11-23T19:37:00.003-06:00

So I might have disappeared there for a while.

A short rundown post of what's been going on to get back into the swing of things:

My cat, Halloween, died in August. She was 12 years old. I hope she wasn't suffering there at the end, but I know her passing went peacefully.

I've been writing steadily. I've written/revised/re-revised/etc. an assortment of projects. It's a little hard to define what I've done specifically, because it varies with each project.

Games, games, games! Lots of great computer games to play lately: Borderlands, Dragon Age, Left 4 Dead (and L4D2), Risen.

Books, books, books! I've read some amazing books, like Nova Ren Suma's Dani Noir, and Suzanne Collins's The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. That's just the tip of the iceberg, though.

Longer post later, now that I remember what this whole blogging thing is all about.

DFW Writers Conference & Twitter

2009-05-03T20:03:00.006-05:00

I had a great time at the DFW Writers Conference this weekend. I attended informative workshops on the publishing industry, social media, writing for young adults (even though I can't imagine any of my books ever being shelved in YA, but Rosemary Clement-Moore is witty and fun to listen to), how to get over writer's block (which I've never had, but like Rosemary, Candace Havens is fun to listen to). Many of the workshops I attended discussed the Internet as it related to publishing and writing, and the buzzword du jour was Twitter.

I like Twitter. I've bought books based on Twitter recommendations and because I follow published authors, and it's a great way for authors to connect with readers and other writers. My agent uses it to keep up with her clients, and it also lets us know what she's up to, if she'll be unavailable for some time, if she's backlogged, etc. And it's a way to get to know her other clients, writers who share a common interest.

In the workshop on social media, someone gave a brief presentation on how he was using Twitter to increase his nonfiction platform. But he made what I consider a glaring error when he admitted he only followed people to get them to return the favor, while at the same time admitting he had no interest in what they had to say. (But I do want to point out in the interest of fairness he does have friends he tracks; it's just that a lot of his peeps are only being followed so they'll return the favor).

Here's the thing with Twitter. Even if you follow someone, they don't have to follow you back. And if you follow me and everyone else on the damn planet, if I don't know you, I'm not returning the favor. I figure you probably don't care what I have to say. At the time of this post, I'm following 83 people. That's about 8 more than I find easy to keep track of, and I'll soon need to go through and cull people who haven't updated in weeks, people whose posts are primarily advertisements, and people who never bother to reply to conversations.

But I actually do follow those 83 people. At the conference, I met two people I only knew through Twitter, and made two more Twitter friends in the process. One of my deciding factors on whether to follow someone is to see how often they respond to people who @reply to them (in other words, replying directly to someone). If their posts are always "I did this," and "I did that," and "Buy this from me," but never acknowledging anyone else's feeds, I have zero interest in you. Why should I? You have enough interest in yourself for the both of us.

Twitter is a lot of fun. It's extremely powerful (as Domino's and Amazon recently found out), and it works. (Aside, after actress Felicia Day, who has over 500,000 followers at the time of this post, made a Tweet about a writer's book, the writer had 10,000 hits to the Amazon link to her book. Hits don't equal sales, but even a 10% purchase rate would be fantastic). http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2009/04/power-of-twitter.html). I've met some wonderful people and seen some fascinating conversations. But like all forms of communication, it should be a give-and-take process.

A tidbit or two

2009-04-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

I haven't actually forgotten about my blog; I just got really, really busy. I finished a book recently and started another. In what can only be deemed madness, I am attempting to write a first draft in six weeks. Can I do it? I haven't a clue. I've done 15,000 words in four days, but whether I can maintain this schedule for six weeks is another question entirely. I'll continue as long as I can stand it, then return to the previous book with edit notes in hand.

That's...that's it. I'm afraid I'm not feeling particularly philosophical. Maybe later I'll post about the BBC show, Robin Hood, or my fondness for My Name Is Earl.But later.

Nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway

2009-03-13T09:25:00.003-05:00

I haven't been blogging much lately, simply because I haven't really had much to say. I've mostly been playing EVE Online in my free time. While I exercise, I've watched season one of Reaper. It's a good show. Started a little weak, but it got stronger as the season progressed. Now I'm looking forward to season two once it's out.

Finished a few good books lately including Ally Carter's I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I'd Have To Kill You. It's a cute and funny book, even if the concept is patently ridiculous. I can understand why Disney optioned film rights, because I could easily see the book as a movie or TV show. I plan on getting Cross My Heart And Hope To Spy soon. I've also started A. S. King's Dust of 100 Dogs. While this book is technically considered YA, it mentions quite a bit of gruesome violence, and I don't think I'd want anyone younger than 12 or 13 to read it. (That's when I started reading Dean Koontz and a lot of my classmates started reading Stephen King). I'm also reading Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson books. I'm on the first book, The Lightning Thief and it's fantastic. There are some similarities with the Harry Potter books, but not so much that it feels like it's nothing more than Harry Potter Fights The Greek Gods.

Rosemary Clement-Moore's Highway To Hell came out this week. I'm going to Hurst tomorrow to buy a signed copy.

Oh, and the EVE Online expansion, Apocrypha, came out this week. Tuesday (the day the xpack went live), I went in search of a wormhole. And as luck would have it, found one right away! So we jumped through and explored the new space. Turns out, though, that if you forget to bookmark your exit, the only way out is to scan for the wormhole (or another one) again. So we were trapped until I could find a new exit. I found one yesterday (Thursday). There is another way out, which my husband took. Destroy your ship and kill yourself. That will start you back at the station where you created your clone. In the three nights I was trapped inside, though, I learned a lot about probing out sites, about wormhole systems in general, and what I need to do to maximize my effectiveness.

Okay, I guess I did have something to say after all.

EVE Online, or, I didn't really expect to like this

2009-02-12T08:24:00.002-06:00

I admit, for years now I've heard of EVE Online and thought, That just doesn't sound like my kind of thing. Then I heard about a major heist that occurred in game, in which a player infiltrated a player-run corporation (the EVE equivalent of guilds), rose in ranks within the corporation, and then sabotaged it. Turns out he was a spy, and he'd spent months planning and executing this.

I thought that sounded fascinating, but I still figured it wasn't the game for me. Space combat; lots of number-crunching; an unusual skill progression system that made it pretty much impossible to catch up to people who'd been playing for years.

Then I heard about a new heist. A high-level director of the largest corporation in the game turned traitor and sold the company out to their biggest rival. And not only is this sort of behavior allowed, but the players all love it (though I'm sure the guys in that corporation had more than a few choice words for the traitor).

So I figured it was time to figure out what the fuss was about. Free trial, easy download. What could it hurt? I could get in, give it a few hours/couple of days, and then I'd know for sure it wasn't for me. That was four days ago. I've been going to bed after one every night. I spend my free time learning about various elements of the game (I wasn't wrong about the complexity).

In other MMOs, I play on PvE servers if there's ever a choice. I'm a carebear. I've been known to help out Horde characters against a monster they're struggling with, even with my PvP flag enabled. In EVE, I trust no one I don't know. I was suspicious when a GM-type player-volunteer started a private chat to ask me how I'm enjoying the game. I suspect they were telling the truth, and they didn't ask for anything from me, or try to get any intel off me. But I was wary of every answer I gave. Someone tried a scam on me in which they jettisoned a cargo container labeled "free stuff" then stood in wait to see who would take it. (If you steal from another PC--which taking from their container qualifies as--that gives them the right to fire on you without you being able to fire in return). I suspected it could be a scam, but I did it anyway and then warped away.

It's a unique game world. Stealing from other characters is acceptable. Scamming them is perfectly fine. Want to sneak up on a PC's ship and demand extortion money to prevent you from blowing them out of the skies? Feel free. You can't steal from a player (hack an account, for example) obviously, and you can't exploit a bug, but most everything other MMOs shield you from is acceptable.

As you can see, I'm really enjoying it so far. I plan to give the trial period its full two weeks before I make the decision to subscribe, just to be sure (and also, I have no money at the moment). Once I have a better understanding of the game mechanics, I'll probably post more.

The Guild - The best TV show not on TV

2009-01-21T10:00:00.003-06:00

If you play MMORPGs and haven't watched The Guild, you're missing out on a great series of web shorts. Here's the description from their own site:

The Guild is a independent sitcom webisode about a group of online gamers. It is written for gamers, about gamers by a gamer. Episodes vary from 3-6 minutes in length, and follow the Guild members’ lives online and offline.

The characters are hilariously dysfunctional, and most episodes are laugh-out-loud funny. While the show makes fun of gamers, they do so as gamers themselves. Felicia Day, the show's star/writer/producer regularly mentions playing World of Warcraft, Fallout 3, Rock Band, etc. in her Twitter stream. It's not simply a case of some actor thinking they're so cool by making fun of "those losers who spend all their time on a computer."

Also-and vitally important for the jokes--the lingo is spot on. It means the show is very specialized with a necessarily limited (though quite large) audience. If you don't play MMOs, you simply won't get 80% of the jokes. You won't understand Vork's panic at an unexpected server outage or Clara's remark, "First I had husband aggro, then I had baby DPS!"

They're up to episode 8 (of around 12 or 13) of season 2. You can watch it on XBox LIVE and online, and each episode is around five minutes long. If I had one criticism, it's that the episodes could be longer. I think they could do ten minute episodes without losing the impact of the jokes.

http://www.watchtheguild.com/

She's dead, Jim (the monitor that is)

2009-01-14T08:26:00.002-06:00

You ever have those days when it feels like things are constantly breaking? If it's not one thing it's another. First it was our new oven. Yeah, the one we bought just a few months ago. I used the auto-clean function and the next time I went to heat it, it didn't heat. Apparently it was just a fuse, though, because the repairman was able to fix it easily enough.

But then, I woke up Monday morning to my monitor not coming on. No power, no nothing. It's less than a year old, so that royally sucked. Fortunately it's under warranty, so Samsung is sending another one that should arrive tomorrow. While my laptop is awesome, it's meant I haven't been fully online all the time this week.

I have, in the meantime, rediscovered the joys of the amazing game, Planescape: Torment, though. If you've never played this game before, go find yourself a copy. It's probably one of the top five CRPGs of all times. One of the best stories, with some amazing humor and fantastic quests.

It's also the most dialog-heavy game I've ever played. I won't say they don't make games like this any more (get off my lawn, you darn whippersnappers), because some independent developers do still make games like that. The Geneforge games by Spiderweb Software, for example. Mostly, the reason they don't is that most games are fully voice-acted these days and there's a cost issue involved.

But I'm sure I'm not the only gamer who wishes some games would go back to the Planescape method of having only partial voice acting. I love Fallout 3, but the fact that every line of dialog is spoken means there are far fewer choices available.

Speaking of Fallout 3, I released the first iteration of my mod, D.C. Confidential - Scattered Stories, recently. It's a collection of hand-placed notes, mostly from before the war. My second iteration is ready to go as soon as I get back on my desktop machine. It adds another 19 to the existing 25. I've gotten a lot of compliments on it.

Christmas Harvest (short story)

2008-12-31T13:18:00.001-06:00

A short story I wrote as a Secret Santa gift for a member of the Absolute Write forums. Special thanks to dempsey for the terrific idea.
-------------

"Captain Mollytibbles, we have a situation."

I looked over the mounds of paper on my desk at Lieutenant Twinkle standing in the doorway. The bells on her red-and-white-striped uniform jingled merrily, but worry made her green face lime, and her pointy ears quivered above her red hair.

I swallowed a sigh. I was hours behind on the days' lists already, and it was still morning. "What is it, Lieutenant?"

"We lost half the crop in field seventeen last night."

I leaped to my feet in shock. "The teddy bears?" Not the bears! They were only two days from harvest.

"Yes, sir."

My gaze fell on the blue-coded stack of papers on the left side of my desk. The "nice" list. Thousands of children on that list were supposed to receive those teddy bears. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know, sir." She fidgeted with the bells on the tips of her pointy shoes. "We had soldiers at every point, like you ordered, and we've been laying concertina wire as fast as possible. After what happened in field twelve, we didn't want to take any chances."

"Please don't remind me about field twelve." That day haunted my nightmares, and I often woke from my sweat-soaked bed with the images burned into my eyelids. I would never be able to look at nesting dolls the same way again. "Do we have any clues as to the identity of these terrorists yet? Have they made any demands?"

"I don't know, sir. I don't believe so."

Sergeant Squeegle burst into the room behind her, his uniform bells playing the first strains of "Jingle Bells." He skidded to a stop and held out a piece of paper. "Lieutenant Tooby wanted you to see this, sir."

I waved him over and took the paper. It was a still image from our satellite. Dark shapes moved among the field of teddy bear ears poking through the ice. I squinted at the photo. "What am I looking at, Sergeant?"

"Sir, according to Lieutenant Tooby, they're...penguins."

My ears twitched, and the paper fluttered to the desk. "Penguins?" I must have misheard.

"Yes, sir."

"This is the North Pole. We don’t have penguins."

"Apparently they've migrated, sir."

Lieutenant Twinkle piped up. "Perhaps it's some sort of arctic fox. Or a polar bear."

"That's ridiculous," Squeegle said. "Ma'am."

"No sillier than migrating penguins, Sergeant."

I picked up the phone. "Send Lieutenant Tooby to me."

While I waited, I studied the photo more closely. Now that I knew what to look for, the dark shapes did indeed look like penguins.

Another figure appeared in the doorway. At exactly three feet, the elf in question was almost a full two inches taller than everyone else in the North Pole Defense Force, and his ears jutted well above his short red hair.

"Reporting as order, Captain," he said.

"Penguins, Tooby?" I held up the photo. "Do you want to explain?"

"Gladly, sir." He held his arms behind his back and stared down his long nose at a point over my head. "At 0600 yesterday IntGat discovered a coded message on Arcticnet. The message was decoded as follows: 'Tuxedos rented. Appetizers done. Moving on to soup course anon.'" He briefly met my eyes. "It was the 'anon' that provided IntGat with verification that the penguins were behind it."

"No one else would use such a pretentious word," I said. "Very good, Tooby. Do we know how they're reaching the crops?"

"We believe they're tunneling up from the ocean."

I rubbed my chin. "Do you think they might be willing to talk to us? Negotiate?"

"No, sir. When the fur seals of Antarctica tried to end the Flipper Fur War with talks, the penguins sent the negotiators' pelts back in the form of coats."

I pressed my lips together and considered our options. "We'll have to capture one and question him."

"Yes, sir. Are we authorized to use enhanced interrogation techniques?"

"Yes." The paperwork was dreadful, but the alternative was too horrible to contemplate. Already we'd lost a quarter of our crop. What next? The building blocks? The toy soldiers?

"You're dismissed," I told all three elves.

When I was alone in my office, I flopped back in my seat and blew out a sigh. Christmas was only weeks away. Even when nothing went wrong, getting everything done in time was a race to the finish line. And every year it got just a little bit harder.

***

When Lieutenant Tooby returned that night, I'd still only made a small dent in the piles of paperwork.

"We captured one, sir."

I set my quill down and rubbed my eyes. "Where?"

"He was scouting field twenty-three. We believe he was part of an advance unit."

"Twenty-three...twenty-three...."

"The talking dolls, sir. When you pull the string on their backs, they--"

"I know what the dolls do, Tooby."

"Yes, sir."

"Have you interrogated the prisoner yet?"

"We're just starting."

"I'd like to be there." I hopped off my chair and rounded the desk. "Lead the way."

I followed the taller elf through a series of corridors decorated in a slew of pastel colors. The uniform bells filled the concrete hallways with a roundelay of "Jingle Bells."

While I'd never say it aloud, I sometimes grew tired of the song. Why not "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?" It was our national anthem after all.

Tooby hurried down the stairs to the fourth sub-floor, which was painted a bright sunflower yellow. It struck me as wrong to have our interrogation chambers painted such a cheerful color, and I made a mental note to have it repainted next year.

As we closed in on the room, a high-pitched squawking reached my ears. A voice rang out, "My name is Emperor James Lafferty. I will speak only to Him." Another squawk.

Another voice, elfish, rose over the noise. "Why are you here?"

"My name is Emperor James Lafferty. I will speak only to Him."

"He won't even tell us his rank," Tooby said, his hand on the door. "He insists on speaking to--"

"Him," I said grimly. "Yes, I heard." I nodded for him to open the door and readied myself for what I was about to see.

He did, and I had to will myself to step into the room.

A coppery, fishy odor wafted over me. Streaks and splashes of red had turned the walls a sickly orange. The interrogator, Lieutenant Smibbles, wore an apron over his uniform. It, too, was splattered in red.

The penguin squatted atop the interrogation table, held in place with enough chains to secure a polar bear. Its chest heaved, and its beak drooped open, foam collecting at the corners of its mouth. Despite it all, a defiant gleam remained in its brown eyes.

"Captain," Smibbles said. He held something in his hands I couldn't identify, but it gave me shivers to look at it.

"Have you learned anything, Lieutenant?"

"No, sir. But I'm confident it won't be long."

I turned to the penguin. "Emperor Lafferty, why are you here?"

"I will answer questions only from Him."

"Are you trying to ruin Christmas for the children?"

His beak opened, and a sound emanated from his throat. It took a moment to realize it was laughter.

"You find that funny?" I said. "You like to see children suffer?"

He made a sound like a sneeze. "Not as much as your boss does, from the looks of things."

Smibbles made a move toward the prisoner, but I held up a hand. "What are you talking about? We--He brings joy to all the children of the world?"

Emperor Lafferty rolled one swollen eye at me. "If you call being mired in the nineteenth century joy. Your toy crops?" He made a rude noise. "Toy soldiers? Nesting dolls? Open your eyes. Today's kids want video games. Electric scooters. Stuff like that."

"But those things don't grow here. The electronics freeze." Why was I explaining myself to a prisoner? We didn't have to justify what we were doing. We'd been delivering toys to good little girls and boys for centuries.

I decided to try a different tact. "Why do you keep attacking our crops then?"

"I'm only allowed to answer questions from Him."

"He...is busy. I'm the best you're going to get."

His beak opened and closed in a thoughtful manner. Finally he said, "We believe it's time for new leadership."

"New--" I sputtered. "You want Him to step down?"

Tooby and Smibbles exchanged glances, but I didn't look away from the prisoner. "Who would take His place? You?"

"Of course not. I'm but a loyal soldier. Our leader would step in. Emperor Emperor Maurice Paddington the Third."

"How does destroying our crops help that?"

"When the children find out they're no longer receiving even the awful toys you're offering, they'll be primed for our advertising campaign." He tried to raise a bound flipper. "Does disappointment fill your heart every Christmas? Tired of receiving lame gifts from a fat old guy out of touch with today's youths? Something new is coming this Christmas. Stay tuned!'" His eyes glittered.

"That's it?" I said. "That's a terrible ad."

"We're still hammering out the kinks."

I started to lean against the wall and remembered the blood. Running a hand over my face, I said, "This needs to stop. I want you to deliver a message to your leader."

"What message?" he said, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"Your ideas are not without merit, but this isn't the way to resolve our differences. If the two leaders meet and discuss this at the table, maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement agreeable to both parties. Can you tell him that?"

He bobbed his head.

I waved a hand at Smibbles. "Release the prisoner and escort him outside the perimeter."
"Yes, sir," he said.

Tooby followed me back to my office. "Your orders, sir?"

"You know what you have to do?"

"Yes, sir."

"When you have the location, gather the NPIS and meet me in the sit room."

He nodded and dashed out.

I shut the door and shoved my desk aside to reveal a small safe. A scanner glowed softly in the center of its door. I rested my right ear against the screen.

"Authorization granted for Captain Mollytibbles," the electronic voice intoned. "Ho ho ho."

I sat up as the door slid into the floor to reveal a triangular green card. Copper wires ran along the card horizontally, and tiny lights flickered here and there. I withdrew it and shut the safe.

All I could do now was wait until Tooby returned with his report.

***
Sergeant Squeegle arrived near dusk. "The lieutenant is ready for you, sir."

"Thank you, Sergeant."

I hurried to the sit room, nodding to the security cameras hidden behind glistening icicles made of glass. NPIS soldiers stood against the icy blue walls, eyes straight ahead, expressions blank. Their uniforms were solid white, iceberg logos sewn on the pockets. No bells hung from their clothes, and they carried knitted white caps to cover their hair.

I inserted the security card into the reader, and the door opened. "Ice Squad, enter."

They filed in around the table, an eerie quietness to their movements.

Lieutenant Tooby arrived last, a stack of documents in hand.

I motioned for him to speak, and he cleared his throat. "We tracked the combatant to a location forty klicks away. Triangulation points are field eighteen, the Donner Iceberg, and the Dasher Ice Shelf. We suspect they've carved out a base for themselves near the Rudolph Shelf."

One of the Ice Squad soldiers raised his hand. "Sir, are we to eliminate all enemies with prejudice?"

"Extreme," I said. "We expect nothing but one hundred percent success. This is our way of life at stake here." I looked around the room. "Lieutenant Tooby will fill you in on the details of the operation."

***
I returned to my office to work through the rest of the day's naughty lists when Tooby returned.

He set a stack of satellite photos on the desk. Even with the lack of detail and the graininess, the carnage was unmistakable. Much of the Rudolph Ice Shelf was cracked in half. "It's done."

"Casualties?"

"Coddybiggles sustained a severe laceration to her femoral artery. We don't know if she'll make it."

I nodded. "If there's nothing else, you're dismissed. Get some rest."

He hesitated. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"What is it?"

"Eventually someone is going to find out about Him. What do we do when that happens?"

"The same thing we've done since He died: more propaganda and a campaign of dissemination."

"Yes, sir." In the doorway he stopped. "How much longer do you think we can keep up this charade?"

"As long as we have to."

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-22T09:11:00.002-06:00

I would write a blog post about what Christmas means to me and all that other glurgy crap, but that's not me. Will be posting a short story soon.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe Christmas and New Year's.

A random assortment of musings about books and tv shows

2008-12-05T08:40:00.003-06:00

I bought several books last week: a Pearls Before Swine collection, Ghosts/Aliens by Trey Hamburger, Too Many Curses by A. Lee Martinez, and I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I'd Have To Kill You by Ally Carter. I only went into B&N for Too Many Curses, but Ally Carter's book caught my eye during my search. Since it was now in paperback, I snagged it. Then I decided I also wanted a Pearls Before Swine collection and went hunting in the humor section. That's when Ghosts/Aliens caught my eye. The book is strange, absurd, and a bit stream-of-consciousness, but absolutely hilarious.

I also bought my first laptop this week. It hasn't shipped yet (come on, Dell!), and I hope it arrives before Christmas. It's not a gaming rig (that's what my computer at home is for), though I'm going to see if it'll play LOTRO, but it is a good machine and it was cheap. I wanted something that can play movies, connect to the Internet (duh), handle MS Word, play some casual games and so on.

It's not my intent to try to single-handedly save the economy, but damn it, I'm doing my best!

Also been watching season one of Jericho and Burn Notice. I like both shows. I was reading some old threads elsewhere about Jericho and some of the complaints people had was the way the town's residents were occasionally doing really stupid stuff, like using the electricity to power the tavern's jukebox. I feel a lot of these complaints have little merit, because I feel that in the first few months after something that apocalyptic, people would still not want to give up everything they had before. It would be very hard to comprehend the depth of the change that just occurred. And also, just being in full-on survival mode for too long isn't healthy. You can't just try to survive. You have to have more than that. So a post-apocalyptic society does need stuff that isn't entirely for survival, like alcohol (for drinking), art, music, dance.

Burn Notice is about a former CIA spy (named Michael Westin) who gets burned for reasons he doesn't understand. He gets dumped in Miami with no money, no information, and a bad reputation in the intelligence world, and he can't leave town. He takes odd jobs as a sort of private investigator/mercenary. The show is a strong mix of action, humor, and suspense, and the actor who plays the lead is perfect as the sardonic and often highly-amused spy who smiles the most when he's pissed off. You can practically read behind that smile, I could easily snap your neck right now. And sleep just fine afterward.

To round out the cast, the other full time characters are his mother, his ex-girlfriend (a former IRA guerilla bomber), and his best friend, a retired spy (played by Bruce Campbell). Every episode generally runs an A-story and a B-story. The A-story is the "monster-of-the-week," the PI work he does. The B-story usually involves his attempts to find out why he received a burn notice.

The show is part McGuyver in that he often rigs up spy equipment and bombs out of common household supplies. But unlike McGuyver, the hero is a lot more hardcore. He will kill the bad guys, even going so far as just putting the gun to their heads and squeezing the trigger (though sometimes he just stands back and lets other people do the killing). I was a little worried after the pilot episode (where he popped two shots into the heads of a couple of bad guys) that they were going to tone down the nature of his character. In fiction, sometimes people just need killin', and I hate when the studios want to pussify the hero because they're afraid no one will like a protagonist who is cold and calculating.

I've seen about 8 episodes of season one, and while they might have toned him down a bit, he will at least set people up to die knowing that is the result of his actions (like handing over a firebomb to a guy to use against his crime boss and then watching to make sure it's used). And in fairness, they can't have him capping people in the head all over Miami. The body count would be rather obvious. Still, I hope there's no pussification of the character, or I'm going to be very disappointed with the turn of the show.

Netflix Watch Instantly + Xbox LIVE Gold = EPIC WIN

2008-11-24T08:12:00.002-06:00

I just upgraded my Xbox LIVE account to a Gold account this weekend and discovered the wonderful world of Netflix's streaming video. We were able to watch the episode of Jericho we were up to on the disc, and we'll be able to watch the next episodes without waiting for the new discs to arrive.

I do believe physical media are on their way out for movies and TV shows. I think it's possible we might even see first-run movies available for streaming video soon, though I think we'll still have movie theaters; they'll just have to provide more of an experience than you can get in your home. As it is, I see very few movies in the theater. At home, I have a 100" projector screen, 5.1 surround sound, and the ability to pause the movie whenever I want. Plus, I don't have to worry about talkers, seat kickers, or overly-loud audio. Right now, the only thing the movie theater provides over my home setup is the larger screen and for some movies, the audience experience (let's face it: some movies are better with a crowd).

Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving!

Presidential Facts by A. Lee Martinez

2008-11-10T08:57:00.003-06:00

The indisputably funny A. Lee Martinez gives the real rundown on the presidents, past and present.

Character Chemistry

2008-11-10T07:58:00.002-06:00

Last week, while watching Season 2 of The Ghost Whisperer, I was struck by a thought on character chemistry. See, season 2 introduced Professor Rick Payne, played by Jay Mohr. Payne was supposed to be a character brought in for a short story arc and nothing else. But there was a problem. When Mohr and Love Hewitt were on the screen together, there was immediate, obvious, and fantastic chemistry between the characters. It was apparent to me as the viewer, and from the interviews I watched on the special features, it was apparent to the cast and crew as well.

So they brought him back. And I found myself looking forward to every episode he was in. I knew that every time he showed up on screen, the show got that much better. The funny thing is, after a few episodes, I was telling my husband how there was so much more energy between those two characters, how there was this slight sexual tension, even though Melinda Gordan was very happily married, and how her relationship with Payne was something she needed to contrast the relationship with her husband (who, let's face it, is a gorgeous lunkhead). The beautiful David Conrad isn't nearly as fun to watch on the screen as Jay Mohr, whose smile simply lights up the room. And then I watched the interviews with the cast and crew, and they said exactly the same things I'd been saying. That's how obvious it was from the viewer's side. The chemistry between Melinda Gordan and Rick Payne was "it."

Like porn, "it" is hard to define, but you know it when you see it. It's not necessarily sexual. In fact, in my latest book, I have a lot of chemistry between my heroine and her twin brother. It's definitely not sexual with them (ew!) but it is very real.

So how do you create real chemistry between your characters?

You can't. You won't even know you have it until you throw the characters together and see how they react. Some of the characters you thought would have real chemistry together don't. I had planned on my heroine having it with a former classmate she'd had a crush on. Turns out there was nothing there, but another character I never even expected grew into the one. All you can do is watch for it as you're writing. When it happens, go with it. Not all your characters will have this strong chemistry together. That's fine. They'll still be good characters to throw together. But keep a watch out of those characters who "pop" off the page. when they're together. The more of them you have, the better your story will be.

Fallout 3 first impressions (no spoilers)

2008-10-29T08:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the release of Fallout 3. If that sentence makes sense to you, I don't need to explain how highly anticipated this event was. If it doesn't, you're probably not going to find this post all that interesting.

I took a vacation day yesterday. This may seem like a weird thing to say when you consider that I don't actually have a job. But I didn't do any chores (except go to CostCo, and that's because I was already over there), and I didn't write. I was back home and had the game installed by 12:30 and was able to start playing immediately.

And it was everything I'd hoped it would be. I can see the Oblivion engine underneath it, and I've seen on the official forums that the modding community has already started figuring out how to mod the game, even without an official construction set. So we should be seeing new content fairly soon. But even with vanilla Fallout, I'm loving the game. I upped the difficulty to Hard, because I found VATS made the game a little too easy. I'm also walking around with a ton of junk that may or may not have any use, plus ammo for guns I don't have and guns with no ammo. I've already become addicted to one drug (Psycho, I think), and I have a tendency to stay slightly irradiated. I also have a tendency to completely ignore the quest I was just given when I head in the direction of the building where it's located and then wander into half a dozen other places.

So far I've visited an elementary school, a water treatment plant, and a sewer, and I'm about to head into a grocery store tonight.

My consensus: if you liked Oblivion and like a post-apocalyptic game world, you'll love Fallout 3. If you hated Oblivion, but only for the fantasy elements, you'll probably really like Fallout 3. If, on the other hand, you hated everything about Oblivion, I doubt you'll like Fallout 3 at all.

As for me, I have an incentive to get everything done quickly today, so that I can get back in and try to survive the horrors of the wasteland.

The "balls-out" writing experience

2008-10-17T08:33:00.003-05:00

Over on The Swivet, agent Colleen Lindsay's blog, is a guest blog post by Courtney Summers, soon-to-be-published author of Cracked Up To Be. Go ahead and read it; I'll wait.

One sentence particularly stuck out to me when I read her post:

"I decided the next novel I wrote was going to be a total uhm... balls-out experience and it was going to be everything I wanted it to be."

The reason this particular sentence struck such a chord with me was because this was exactly what I decided to do with the book that was eventually picked up for representation. I was afraid at first to make a heroine who was cold-blooded, efficient, didn't hesitate to squeeze the trigger. Much of the female-oriented action I'd read had heroines afraid of guns, or in the process of giving up the business because it bothers them, or very uncomfortable with the role they had in life.

But characters in movies often engage in acts of violence without remorse, without regret. I thought to myself, what if my heroine didn't hate her work? What if she knew exactly who she was and still liked herself? What if she didn't waste her time trying to avoid shooting the bad guy and just...shot him?

Would she still be a likable character? I still liked her. But would anyone else? I decided I didn't care. This was the story I wanted to write. This was a story I wanted to read. Even today, having read both Phaedra novels about twenty times each, I still like reading them. The books are dark, though often funny (well, they're supposed to be, anyway), but most importantly, they're books I enjoy.

I knew The Harrison Files (the novel I signed with Janet on) was the one. It was the first book I wrote where I felt it. It was my "balls-out" writing experience. It showed, too, and the book garnered much more agent interest than any of my previous efforts. It eventually led me to sign with one, and it told me there is a market for people who like their fiction hardcore, violent, and unapologetic.

If you find you're holding yourself back, trying to write a character a certain way because you're afraid other people won't like her, let yourself go. Take the gloves off. Let it all hang out and see if you don't make a character who comes alive on the page.

Rock Band party

2008-10-13T08:20:00.002-05:00

So this Saturday was our Rock Band party. We had a fantastic time with a great bunch of guys, and I hope we can have another one again soon. Besides me and Joe, we also had our gaming friends Pat and Mike, plus Joe's friend from work, Andy, and his roommate (David) and best friend (Eddie). I'd never met the latter three men before, so it was also great to meet cool new people. And they were, too! Not only were they nice guys, but they were also willing to get up there and sing.

I've been trying to play guitar on hard lately. (So the next person who chooses Disturbed's "Inside the Fire" as the last of a three-song set when I'm playing on hard gets popped over the head with a plastic guitar). I can tell it's working, because medium is starting to seem slow now. I'm missing easy stuff on medium because I'm not paying it enough attention. There are still some medium-difficulty songs that are a challenge ("Down With The Sickness" is killer), but I can tell I'm ready to move on for the most part. I never thought I'd be able to play hard before, which makes me think some day I'll even attempt expert.

Then one day I'll challenge Tom Morello to a real guitar battle, and he'll be like, "Whoa, do you know how to play guitar?" and I'll be like, "Yeah, bitch. Bring it. I can even play...on expert." And he'll be like, "No way, dude. Just take my money and go." Then he'll cry.