Aim For The Heart: December 2007

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Choke your kid, and the world still laughs with you. Under the right circumstances.

Watch any episode of The Simpsons, and there's a good chance you'll see Homer yell at Bart and grab him around the throat. You can laugh safe in the knowledge that no one is being harmed. Watch an identical scene in a live action comedy, and there's a good chance you'll feel mildly uncomfortable, because real, identifiable people are simulating the act. But again, you know they're acting, so you aren't too bothered by it. See that same scene happening outside your living room window and you'll be on the phone with a 911 operator in seconds.

Safety in fiction. The knowledge that it's not real lets us comfortably cheer for thieves to make their big score; laugh when a character says something bitingly mean to another; and enjoy the drunken ramblings of a pathetic nuclear safety inspector (or whatever Homer's job is) without feeling guilty for enjoying it. Fiction is our release valve.

I've been watching a couple TV shows lately with characters whose behaviors would be inappropriate in the real world. House is one. It's a great, fantastic show, and Hugh Laurie owns the character. But does anyone think House would've held a job for more than a month in the real world?

Not a chance. It doesn't matter how brilliant you are if you're so difficult to deal with that no one wants to talk to you. But because it's fiction, his jerkish behavior is funny, and the show is very popular. We, the audience, can fantasize about being like him, about saying exactly what we want, with no governors on our behavior (but of course, always in a witty manner).

Another (though defunct) show I've been watching has a main character that would actually be difficult to like: Veronica Mars. Veronica's a good person, but she's manipulative and a taker, and she's not above using her looks to get what she wants. But because she's amusing, and because we know it's fiction, we can watch the show and still like the character even when she's using people.

I mention these shows in particular because a lot of writers have a fear of creating protagonists who are less than saints. They worry that no one will like their hero if they do this or say that. The truth is, you can like damn near anyone in fiction if the writing is skillful enough. Think about it, in real life, would you really want to hang around Dexter? Or Al Swearengen? Or even Gregory House?

Make your character someone you like, even if he's arrogant or a killer or a petty thief, and there's a good chance we'll like him, too.

1) Finish it. I figured I'd start with the craziest idea first, to get it out of the way. You'd be surprised how much more novel-like a finished book is than a thirty-page partial, and it really helps make steps 2 and 3 better in every way.

2) Add zombies, robots, or explosions. Any one of these, or all three, will immediately make your book a thousand times better. "But, Carla," you whine, "I'm writing a touching biography of my grandmother's life during World War II."

Don't give me that crap. You think she wasn't fighting off Nazi robots during her time at the munitions factory?

3) Have a talking cat, dog, rabbit, or inanimate object as a humorous sidekick. "But, Carla--"

It's poetic license, you dimwit. Your grandmother needs someone to talk to while she's slicing and dicing those robots. What are you going to do, have her reflect on life? Snore.

Well, that's it. If you have more advice, I'm sure it's not as good as what I suggest, but feel free to share it anyway.

Have a Merry Christmas!

My husband recently got back in to massively multiplayer online roleplaying games (MMORPGs, because if you think I'm typing that again, you're crazy) World of Warcraft after several months away. I haven't played since the first of the year (whenever Burning Crusade came out + 2 months). Yesterday, he mentioned getting a /whisper from someone with just those six characters from my title. "And the sad thing is," he said to me, "was that I knew what he meant."

"No," I countered, "what's sad is that I know what he meant."

(The person was asking if he wanted to join his group to go through the Scarlet Monastery - Library dungeon.)

Here's the odd thing: I love this form of communication. I don't know why, because I can't stand to be on messageboards full of chat speak and leet speak. But when it comes to actual chatting or playing games, I love to see all the "LF1M Deadmines. Need tank GTG." (looking for one more for the dungeon, Deadmines. Need a fighter-type and we're good to go.) and "WTB [specific weapon here]" (want to buy)

That's not even counting the entirely new terms that have evolved from MMORPGs: mobs, kiting, tank, aggro, pulling, and more I can't even think of at the moment.

Maybe it's the feeling of inclusiveness that understanding such weird acronyms create. Or maybe I'm just inherently lazy and would love for our language to devolve into grunts and growls.

kkthxbye

My sister lent me a few books at Thanksgiving that she'd gotten at a library sale. Books one and two -- award-winning classic YA from many years ago. Fantastic writing, well-drawn characters. And seventy pages of nothing interesting. Seriously, I read to page seventy waiting for something, anything to happen before I gave up. For the record, I don't actually consider these the bad books mentioned in the title.

That's an honor I'm reserving for the book of a well known NYT bestseller she also lent me.

It should be noted that I'm not one of those bitter writers who believes all NYT books are crap, that all popular work is horrid. I read and enjoy a lot of fluff writing, and I like fast reads. I mean, hell, I actually enjoyed The Da Vinci Code.

But this -- god, this book was hideous. The author (and no, I won't say who it is) is one of those big names everyone knows. Short and choppy sentences; unnatural dialog and overtelling narrative; and nonstop passive sentence construction. Everything "was," and I had to actually hunt for an active verb.

For the first time in memory, I uttered these words about a bestselling writer: "I write better than that."

If you clicked on this blog post in order to tell me you want to stab me through the heart with a citrus zester for using the word funner...cool! I'll be sure to use more bad grammar in the future if it gets me more readers.

I'm back to revisions on my book, after a break for Thanksgiving and then to write a short story. I can tell when I really like a book I'm working on, because it's all I think about. I love the changes I'm making, and I think the book is getting stronger as a result. Another thing I'm doing is making a timeline in Excel. I'm having to re-read the entire book and make notes of what happens on what days. It's actually relevant for me to know this, even if the reader doesn't.

Gotta remember to get another box of paper from CostCo. Once I finish these notes and then rewrite chapter one--again! This will be the fourth complete rewrite of the first chapter--then I'll print up the entire book a chapter or two at a time and give it another line edit. The stuff that's already been line edited half a dozen times shouldn't change much, but the new stuff will probably look like a Bic factory exploded on it when I get done. I hope those edits won't take more than a month.

Looking forward to a weekend of working on my book and playing The Witcher, and Resident Evil 4.

I've bought three games in the past couple of weeks, and now I'm running into game overload.

The Witcher (PC) - This is an M-rated RPG using the Aurora game engine (Neverwinter Nights 2). It's not a D&D game, but it has a full and complete skill tree on which to create a character. It's not the deepest game you'll ever come across, but combat is fantastic, it has plenty of quests, and it's probably 50+ hours long.

Super Mario Galaxy (Wii) - I just started this one last night. So far, it's bright and colorful, and I can see myself getting easily hooked on it once I've gotten further along. The reviews are uniformly positive, and it's the highest rated Wii to date. I loved (and need to finish) Super Paper Mario, and the humor is always top notch.

Resident Evil 4 (Wii) - Another highly rated Wii title, I also started it last night. I can tell I'm going to really enjoy it once I get a knack for the controls. It looks like it has a strong story, and you can never go wrong shooting zombies.

And another title that is worth noting. I haven't bought it yet but I will when I finish The Witcher (and have some money): Eschalon: Book I. This is an independent RPG. The graphics are very dated; not quite as dated as the Spiderweb Software graphics, but close. Just the small demo I played had me hooked. It's amazing what you can do when you take graphics out of the equation. I mean that seriously. Spiderweb Software's Geneforge titles are easily some of the best RPGs I've ever played, and I'm really looking forward to Eschalon.

I wanted to post this link on behalf of pepperlandgirl, someone I've "known" for years from two different messageboards. Her and her co-author's new book, Chasing Silver (the authors share the name Jamie Craig), is now in stores.

Here's a link to their blog.

The blurb:

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On the run in Washington, D.C. from a cop who cares more about inflicting pain than serving justice, Remy Capra grabs a handful of coins and jumps out a window. She lands seventy-five years back in time and across a continent in Los Angeles--at the feet of bounty hunter Nathan Pierce.

Remy isn't like any woman he's ever met. She's street-smart and sassy, but she needs help, and Nathan, against his own better judgment, offers it. Danger looms on all sides: Remy might be whisked back to her own time at any moment, a murderous gang lord is after them, and then there's the mystery of the Silver Maiden, a mystical coin with strange powers. Remy and Nathan may have a future--if she can evade her own past, and if they manage to keep alive in the ever-threatening present...
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It sounds like a fantastic book, and I can't wait to read it.