CarlaHarker.com
 
 

Aim For The Heart

Movie reviews

Spoilerific movie reviews of 2012, Moon, and Lucky Number Slevin. You've been warned.

I like disaster movies. I like big budget special effects extravaganzas. I actually enjoyed The Day After Tomorrow. So Roland Emmerich isn't on my list of to-avoid directors by any means. But what the hell was Mr. Emmerich thinking with 2012? Do disaster movies have to follow every single cliche in the book? In 2012, John Cusack plays Jackson Curtis, a divorced dad and failed published writer who works as a chauffeur for a super rich Russian businessman. He becomes our anchor in the disasters that kill billions of people worldwide. When he learns of the impending disaster, he rushes to rescue his kids and his ex-wife. OK, these stories tend to have a hero to root for, someone you know will survive. They're our us. That's fine. In the course of his adventures of trying to reach the Arks (the giant submarines created by the world's governments to keep humanity alive), he meets up with his Russian boss, who paid a billion Euros each to save himself and his two kids.

The biggest problems aren't the improbable ways they survive the disasters. It's not that the governments sold bunks to the highest bidders (who made it possible to even build the Arks to begin with). It's not even that some of the characters we met died.

No, the problem is that the wrong characters died. During the course of their adventures, Jackson rescued not only his ex-wife and his kids, but also the ex-wife's boyfriend/husband (it's never clear, but I'll go with husband for simplicity's sake). Not only was the new husband a good man, a good stepfather, and liked by the kids, but he also saved their lives many times. But because Hollywood cliche demands the hero return to the woman he loves, the new man had to go. His death wasn't even a noble sacrifice. There's absolutely no reason he had to die.

The same for all the characters who died: the Russian businessman. He was a jerk and a bit cold, and he didn't pay a ticket for his girlfriend (who was cheating on him with his second-in-command), but he wasn't trying to hinder the heroes. The cheating trophy girlfriend, who was likable and sweet but obviously rather lonely. The Russian's second-in-command, who died so the others could live. All these people were much more likable than the movie wanted them to be. It's almost like the movie was directed by one person at the beginning and another at the end.

-----

Now, a much better movie was Moon, starring Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey. This is a perfect example of storytelling trumping everything else. The story was suspenseful, the special effects minimal (though well done), and the acting superb. For much of the movie, you're left wondering if Sam is going crazy, if the computer is evil, or what. When they actually reveal the truth, they still don't let up the suspense. Maybe Sam's really crazy after all.

OK, so I couldn't bear to bring myself to spoil this movie after all. Just go watch it.

-----

And the last movie I watched was Lucky Number Slevin (this one is spoiled). This was my favorite of the three. Slevin is staying at the apartment of his friend, Nick, when two thugs show up and demand he visit the Boss (Morgan Freeman). Seems Nick owes a lot of gambling money, so the Boss has a way to pay him off: kill the Rabbi's son for him. It's a revenge killing for the Rabbi killing the Boss's son. (The two gangsters had an uneasy truce until the Boss's son died). For some reason, they don't believe Slevin's protest that he's not Nick. Apparently, people tend to lie to gangsters to get out of trouble.

The real story reveals itself slowly. Slevin, it turns out, isn't a friend of Nick. Slevin, it turns out, is an assassin with an agenda. He's spent his life training to kill the two gangsters (under the tutelage of the man who was hired to kill him when he was a child) who killed his parents. Poor Nick was nothing but an innocent loser who had the misfortune to owe a lot of money to two gangsters.

This is one of those movies where a ton of seemingly unrelated events come together to tell the real story. The audience is fooled just as much as the other characters. Scenes where you can't understand why a character is suddenly acting a certain way or a certain event takes place are explained through the use of flashbacks at the end of the movie. It's very, very hard to pull this off and make it hold together coherently, but it was masterfully done. It's the kind of movie you rewatch to see all the clues they threw in.

If you're looking for a great movie, go for either Moon or Lucky Number Slevin (Moon is a quieter movie, and its R-rating comes from its language; Slevin has violence and anti-heroes getting away with their amoral choices and has to be watched closely to follow the plot).

MMO developers: a question

Why do you allow your forum users to tell your other paying customers, "If you don't like it, go play GameX instead," whenever another player complains about a feature (whether the complaint is justified or not)? Do you really think Blizzard needs that $15/month more than you do? Is it your intent to allow your more rude players to send paying customers onto other MMOs, until all that's left are fanboys who lick your boots and tell you how great you are? Because I promise you, it's hard to make rent and pay server fees with only a few hundred players paying you $15/month.

The rudest gaming forums I consistently come across are those for MMOs, and the more niche the game, the more rude the forum users. Suggestions that might make the game less confusing are met with diatribes about lazy gamers wanting an "I win" button. Comparing the MMO with another are met with sneers and the aforementioned demand the customer take their money elsewhere. Complaints about bugs are met with, "Quit QQing. It's not affecting gameplay."

Here's a shocking revelation: MMOs require customers. They require a minimum number of customers at that, assuming you want to pay your programmers and content designers and network administrators, not to mention making your rent and electricity.

Stop allowing the bullies to dominate your boards. Insist on a certain measure of respect among your players. Not every player is going to /ragequit when they get fed up. Sometimes, they'll simply unsubscribe.

Where D&D Online falters

Out of all the MMOs I've subscribed to, DDO is the one subscription I let lapse the quickest (2 months). I started wondering why that is. It's not because the game isn't D&D enough. It's probably the closest an MMO could actually come and still be fun. It's because the game lacks time and money sinks. By skipping those, the dearth of quest content becomes even more apparent. Every new character is going to do every single quest as every other character.

Most MMOs aren't like that. Take, for example, Lord of the Rings Online. It's impossible for a new character to do all the quests without some of them turning gray (meaning the quest gives only the bare minimum of XPs and the mobs probably don't give any). There are simply too many quests for any one character to do. Add in things like crafting, deeds (which are rewards you get for accomplishing certain activities (like killing 200 orcs in a certain area)), PvP, and non-instantaneous travel, and you have ways to waste time that don't including questing to the very end of the game.

It may sound like a bad thing from a player's perspective, but it's really not. It fleshes it out, gives you something else to do when you don't want to do quests, and provides you with enough content you're more likely to roll up alts. And most importantly for the developers, keeps you paying $15/month.

It also lacks enough money sinks. It's absolutely vital to pull money away from characters in order to control the in-game economy. Without sufficient sinks, inflation spirals out of control. DDO gives way too many magic items and doesn't provide enough stuff to waste your money on. For example, LOTRO has housing, purchasable mounts, PvP, and travel. The post-apocalyptic game we're playing now, Fallen Earth, has blackjack and slots, and I think I read they're going to work in more item decay. You also have to provide feed for your mount or gas for your vehicle. In EVE Online, ship destruction is real and permanent. You have to pay monthly rent for hangar access, and almost everything in the game is crafted, so you spend money all the time buying mats for creating everything you use.

DDO doesn't have anything except repair bills. They have a crafting system, but it's extremely rudimentary. You can't pay to unlock new bank inventory. You don't have to pay for travel. There's no housing, no mounts. My warforged monk7 has over 150,000 gp and nothing to spend money on except more questing stuff.

I don't hate DDO. I spent the Turbine points I got as a subscriber to unlock both the warforged race and the monk class as a free-to-play player. I'm sure I'll go back to the game. But after trying out so many other MMOs, I'm starting to see what they need to do to really stand up to the other MMOs out there.

How to start an exercise routine and keep it going

First, I'm not a personal trainer, kinesiologist, or expert in fitness in any way. I'm simply someone who hated exercise for many years and managed to get started exercising and keep it going.

A big mistake many people make when they decide to workout is that they're so eager to see results they begin their routine all gung ho. They hit the gym like a maniac, doing long cardio sessions, more weights than they really should. Of course, their body lets them know how it feels about that, and they can barely move for a week. But a couple weeks pass and hey, it's not so bad. It feels like you're getting better. Your muscles are all nice and hard. You can see some definition.

And then something happens around the four week mark, give or take. It suddenly gets really hard. You feel like you can't do anything like they were doing at first. It's demotivating, unless you realize what's happening. Your muscles are suddenly all, "Hey, this is for real! This guy means it. Damn, I guess I better stop playing around and do something." That's when the real muscle building takes place. It really will get easier if you don't give up. But most people do, by this time. Exercise is taking time out of their schedule. It's hard. It's boring. They can think of a million things they'd rather be doing. So one missed day becomes two. Two becomes three. Next thing they know, they haven't been to the gym in a few weeks. And then they can't remember the last time they went.

Most exercise routines are created by fitness experts. The thing about fitness experts is, they like to exercise. That's why they got into the field. When they design starter routines, they're thinking like people who really enjoy working out. But what if you're like me, and you hated it? Couldn't stand getting sweaty. Couldn't stand muscle burn?

You get into the habit slowly.

Here's what worked for me, and it's what I recommend to people who hate exercise: fifteen minutes, five days a week. That's it. For fifteen minutes, five days a week, work out. Fifteen minutes is less than an episode of The Simpsons. This isn't going to give you the body of a runway model. It isn't going to prepare you for a marathon. Forget about looking like Dianna Agron or Mark Salling (Quinn and Puck from Glee). Bodies like that require both good genetics and very strict diet and exercise. (Seriously, it means taking your eating habits and your workout routine to a whole new level. Here's a CNN.com article on one man's journey to obtain six-pack abs).

Fifteen minutes is an amount of time everyone can fit into their schedule. It helps make exercise a habit, and right now, that's what you're going for.

Now, after a month, bump your time up to twenty. It's only another five minutes, and you've already carved out fifteen. A month later, bump that up to twenty-five. Another month, thirty. If you want to stop there, fine. Thirty minutes, five days a week is good, and look, you've been working out for four months now! The fitness experts will try to get you to one hour a day, but again, they like to work out. You're just trying not to give up.

One last thing: make yourself work out to your schedule no matter what, barring illness or injury. "I just don't feel like it," is no excuse. Neither is, "I don't have the time." Make the time. Cut out a TV show (or watch it while you exercise). Get up thirty minutes earlier, if you're an early morning person. (I'd rather cut off my toes than work out in the morning). But always, always fit that workout into your schedule, until it's so ingrained you can't imagine not doing it.

And now fourteen years later? I still don't really like working out, not the way you'd think. It still takes time from my schedule I'd rather spend doing other things (about four hours a week). But I love the results. I love that I can try harder, more intense things and not fail horrible, because of the endurance I've built up. I love when I occasionally hit a runner's high. It's as intoxicating as it sounds. I love knowing a six-block walk is nothing but a bit of time, or that I could run a 5K with little difficulty (notice I didn't say I could win a 5K; I'd be lucky not to come in last).

If you make exercise a part of your daily life, I guarantee it'll pay off in the long run.

Exercise, and its importance thereof

Fourteen years ago I found myself with some free time at college when my husband had a Tue/Thur 8:00 a.m. class, and my first class didn't start until 9:45. Since we only had one car, we had to go to school at the same time. So I decided to use that time at the school gym.

For me, who hated getting sweaty with an unholy passion usually reserved for serial killers and demonic entities, this was HUGE. But I did it anyway. Twice a week I hit the gym and used the weight machines and bike. And by the end of the semester I was fitter and had slimmed down*.

I found I actually liked it, to an extent. So once I no longer found it convenient to hit the gym I decided exercising at home was the way to do it. We found a cheap, used treadmill, and I started walking. I heard the usual: you'll give up soon; it'll be a clothes hanger before long.

But I kept at it. It wasn't hard exercise, but it was consistent. And I wore that treadmill motor out. Took a little while, but I got another one.

Several years later, I bought an incline trainer. This is a short treadmill designed to help you with mountain hikes. The incline on mine is as high as 25%. They aren't designed for running, though if you have a short stride like I do, they can be. My endurance started to increase. A five-hour hike across the dunes of the Great Sand Dunes National Park became a tiring but very doable experience.

Working out isn't always fun. It takes time I'd rather spend doing other things, like playing computer games. But when I see people say they hate exercise I want to shake them. Exercise is fantastic! Those few hours a week will pay off when you're not exhausted just walking up a few flights of stairs, or when you think nothing of parking several blocks from your destination. Get out there and work up a sweat, people! It will pay off, I promise.

Next week I'll blog about how to start an exercise routine that you won't quit in a month.




*For the record, exercise alone will not help you lose weight if your eating isn't under control. I became overweight even as I exercised more and more. It took dieting to lose weight.

Just a coupla things

PR Tip: Don't alienate your readership by insulting them

I read reviews of a couple of Wii exercise products this weekend that managed to make me dislike the reviewer so much any good points he might have been making were lost on me. Telling me how awesome your own exercise routine is and talking about how the majority of gamers are "fat, lazy slobs" is not the way to make me want to listen to anything you have to say.

-----

I watched two different movies this weekend: District 9 and District B13. (Despite the names, they have nothing in common). District 9 is the recently released SF alien flick filmed/set in South Africa. District B13 is a French film starring two stuntmen-turned-actors (including the father of parkour, David Belle) in a fun Hollywood-style action flick filled with some of the best parkour chases and fights I've ever seen in a movie. The story itself is good, with a small little twist at the end, but this is a definite check-your-brain-at-the-door movie. (It's available on Netflix streaming if you want to check it out). I would love to see stunt bloopers for the movie.

Indie CRPGs

I was fortunate many years ago to be able to review the first Geneforge game. Since then, I've played most of the Geneforge sequels. Since then I discovered Eschalon: Book I. (Whether you would consider the original Divine Divinity an indie title is debatable, but perhaps it could be included, too).

So every now and then I go on a hunt for good indie CRPGs. Sadly, they're few and far between, at least those that have the elements I consider important. First off they have to be in, 3rd-person isometric (3D or not). I think because the graphics are weaker, 1st-person perspective looks much worse, especially when compared to top-tier commercial titles. The objects are larger on the screen, and their flaws are more readily apparent.

Second, they must have plenty of quests, lots of character stats, stuff to pick up and sell, and lots of choices. The "role" part of role-playing game must be in evidence. Action RPGs are all well and good, but those aren't the titles that make me salivate.

Right now, I have two games on my radar: Eschalon: Book II and Age of Decadence. Eschalon: Book II is almost certainly a Day 1 purchase for me. I enjoyed Book I a lot, and I trust the devs to put out a solid product. Age of Decadence comes from a studio I don't know, and while it looks fantastic, I'll have to give a demo a try or check reviews first. I'm hoping for a title that rivals Dragon Age in quality, even if the graphics and sound aren't up there with a Bioware title (no one would expect a title like AoD to compete with a studio that has millions of dollars to throw around and over a hundred voice actors).

With those two indie titles, Mass Effect 2 and Bioshock 2 coming out, and then possibly Red Dead Redemption in April (more on that one later), the first quarter of 2010 is going to be packed!

Drag Me To Hell

This is NOT a spoiler-free review of the movie Drag Me To Hell, so you've been warned.

In this movie, Christine Brown is a loan officer at a bank who denies a third extension on her loan to an old gypsy woman. The woman begs for her help, but Christine refuses. That night in the parking garage, the old woman attacks her and then curses her. For three days, a llamia will torment her and then drag her to hell.

OK, first off, while it's sad the woman was going to lose her home, the bank is a business. A third extension is pushing things a bit. Christine suggested moving in with family or a nursing home, and the woman refused those ideas outright. While it's true that Christine's motive for refusing the extension was selfish (she was gunning for a promotion), I felt the catalyst for the horror was weak. Trying to run a profitable business is hardly an evil act.

Secondly, a psychic (the real deal, of course; they always are in these movies) tells her she can get rid of the curse by passing along the cursed object (a button from Christine's jacket). Mistake one was that the woman stole the button, and we never saw it given back to her. Seriously, Christine just suddenly had the button on her without the movie letting the viewer know that.

Anyway, the psychic tells her she can pass along the cursed object, so she gets the smart idea to dig up the old gypsy woman (who died the day after Christine met her) and give it to her. Seems like a good idea, right? That woman was genuinely evil after all, and if anyone deserved to be dragged to hell, it was her.

So Christine does that, and the next day dawns bright and sunny. She and her loving boyfriend are meeting at the train station to take a weekend vacation. While they're talking about how wonderful everything is, the boyfriend pulls out an envelope, telling her he thinks she gave him the wrong one. Surprise! She accidentally gave him the evil button.

She's shocked and horrified and backs away, falling onto the train tracks. Here's where the story messes with its own rules. She gets dragged to hell in front of her boyfriend's eyes. Why? Why did this happen? The rules clearly stated the person who was gifted the button would get taken. Why didn't she have to watch in horror as the man who loves her is the one taken?

I rated this movie a 2 stars on Netflix. Changing the rules of your world at the end of the story is a no-no. Making a heroine who doesn't actually deserve the torment fail at the end is also a bad idea. Part of the story was to show Christine become a stronger, more confident person. She learned to fight for herself. And then it was all taken away by the last scene.

Whatcha Readin' -- December edition

I just finished Rhys Bowen's second book in the A Royal Spyness mystery series, A Royal Pain. It made me realize I like cozy mysteries only when they're set in historical periods. Normally I'd say I don't care much for cozy mysteries at all, but I love this and Kathryn Miller Haines's Rosie Winter series.

Bowen's books are set in England, 1930, when communism is on the rise in Europe and that upstart Hitler is getting some attention in political circles. The heroine, Georgie, is a British royal who's close enough to the throne to visit her grandmother the queen (Victoria) but far enough to never be at risk of ascending.

Kathryn Miller Haines's series stars a young stage actress trying to make a living in NYC in the middle of WWII. This series is so rich in detail and atmosphere you're instantly transported back to the time period the minute you open to the first page. The slang is amazing and the details are spot on.

I'm also reading The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan. It's interesting, if a bit slow to start off, and it reads exactly the way you can imagine a big budget movie director would write a book: lots of cuts between different scenes and POVs, lots of characters, some of whom live and die within the scene they're in, plenty of details. If there's one complaint I can make is that the writers are prone to excessive details about technology. Seriously, I don't really need to know the specs on that piece of forensics equipment your hero is using. I don't even need to know what piece of equipment he's picking up to perform that autopsy. Just tell me he's performing an autopsy and I'll be fine. Still, it's a book I look forward to reading.

Lastly, I started Jim C. Hines's The Stepsister Scheme, about Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty banding together to rescue Cinderella's husband. It has Hines's trademark humor, and it's a distinct twist on the fairy tale genre. It's worth noting that these aren't Disney princesses; these are the versions more closely recorded by the brothers Grimm.

That's it for now. I've been adding books like crazy to my Amazon wishlist, but I've made it a point not to buy any more. My current TBR pile is about to bury me.

Dragon Age: Origins

Every now and then a game comes along that could never last long enough, no matter how many hours it gives you. I finished two games this week, Borderlands and Dragon Age: Origins. Borderlands was not that game. Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed it. I'll enjoy playing it again with my friends when they can get together, and the humor and style were fantastic.

But Dragon Age is an event. Dragon Age is an RPG that takes a step back and remembers that the roleplaying part of RPG actually matters. The game is entirely voiced, and the acting is fantastic. Conversations with your followers change depending on what choices you make. Conversations between your followers are worthy of stopping for just so you don't miss a single line of interaction. The codex is filled with world-building, and if you take the time to read it all, will show you a world full of history, intrigue, and politics.

It's a rare game that makes me want to turn around and start again as soon as I finish it. And considering I put in around 70 hours to reach the end, that's really saying something.